Ok – so a bit of honesty – I have been awake since going to bed at a reasonable time and everyone else is fast asleep!! WARNING – GRAHAM ON STEROIDS AND AWAKE LATE – RAMBLE LIKEY TO START.
This is thanks to the side effects of not the chemo drugs but the anti-nausea drugs which contain steroids and hey presto brain working fast and I am awake – but not spewing so that’s a plus👍🏻🤪.
Thought – get my thoughts out and have a hot milo and perhaps I will convince my body to shutdown for the night. My main thought that would not stop – “how I post that I am kicking this cancer (which I think I am) and painting a rosy picture rather than all of it – shitty things included”.
Perhaps by sharing the other side of this I can assist in a small way in case you ever find (and I hope you don’t) someone you know who is having a similar “lifestyle change”. You may then have some context/empathy/one more anecdotal story based on others experiences. Don’t get me wrong you have all been awesome and your encouragement, help, friendship is accepted here with open arms and greatly received. No one has asked questions I don’t mind answering – how do I say this – it’s not you, it’s me (it really is).
My Chemo will be different to others, some cancers respond to different chemo drugs, for instance you will find people with breast cancer will have different drugs to me. I am on Chemo to mop up my ALK+ Lung Cancer in case that sucker is floating around somewhere. Different chemo for different cancers = different side effects.
My key side effects
Nausea
If I wasn’t on the anti-nausea drugs it would be vomit city but hey, this is just normally bad in the first six days post Chemo for me. The big chemo drug I am on is called Cisplatin (nicknamed sick-platin I have learnt that in the early days they used to put people to sleep while administering to get past the vomit stage!!).
Constipation
Wow can’t believe I just wrote that but yeah it’s a side effect – there are fixes and hey I am loaded up tonight on a high dose of over the counter pills to keep me going – now I eat well – and I can assure you that dried prunes, apricots, figs etc don’t cut it for the first few days – and I have learnt that the hard way (ohh a pun at this time of night – I am on fire – ohh and a segue).
Burning feet
Sounds weird but it’s the start of neuropathy from the Chemo. Got told hopefully it should fix itself 2 months to 2 years post Chemo (if it’s not too bad). Not a big one but can make me cranky – just saying.
Fatigue
I don’t know how to really explain this well – but I am like a 90yr old man or puppy/toddler – can do a short burst of stuff then need to sit down and in the arvo a sleep. If I don’t my body decides to make me feel uneasy, slight nausea, perhaps a headache, then I rest/eat and rest and hey presto back ok again for another round for an hour or two. When I do have energy I can use it (so a run, swim etc) but when I don’t, I dont.
Chemo Brain
This one is funny – I am back to being like a 90yr old man – get out a few potato’s for dinner – put them and knife on the bench – open fridge door – look confused in fridge for 5 minutes for a hint – nothing – look back at bench – ohh I need a chopping board and peeler – look back into fridge – not here – hmm ohh the cupboard and draw is where they will be – close fridge and get items from where they ALWAYS live 🤦🏻♂️. There are many others instances so if I ramble or say stupid stuff that doesn’t make sense – it’s Chemo Brain (or me on a normal day 🤪)
Back to bed
Well there you go – Milo finished – brain should now get the hint to shutdown so going to try that sleep thing again – so back into bed as it’s now 00:38. If you read this far you are doing well or you should be doing something else and you are procrastinating 🤔🤪
Will sign off – thanks for reading. Night..